Skrillex Re-Joins Emo Band As It Is More ‘On Trend’ Than EDM
It has been confirmed that American DJ and producer Skrillex will be moving away from EDM and back to “guitar music”, with his final tour due to take place in October.
The twenty eight year old, real name Sonny Moore, has surprised his army of infant and teenage EDM followers by announcing he is to re-join his former post-hardcore emo band, From First To Last.
“It is with a heavy heart that I announce my final ever tour under the DJ name Skrillex,” said Sonny earlier today. “I have enjoyed my time in the EDM scene and am eternally grateful to have had the opportunity to play my music to millions of children around the world who enjoy this extremely basic sound, however, I feel now is the right time to pursue a more grown-up style of music with a more mature audience, hence my move back to emo.”
“I already have a one million dollar sponsorship in place to wear Maybelline black eye-liner and black Barry M nail polish at all of my gigs, so to say I’m excited to get things rolling is an understatement.”
Wunderground contacted his management for their official comment, “Sonny has been performing as an electronic music producer and DJ since 2010 so has basically seen his army of fans leave primary school and hit puberty,” explained spokesman John Smith.
“He feels he has been part of their journey, growing up with them every step of the way. It was at one of his shows that little Katie lost her first tooth and little Tiffany had her first period so believe me when I say he hasn’t taken the decision to walk away lightly.”
“If we are being brutally honest though, he is a little bit fed up with having an audience consisting of children,” revealed Smith. “When getting into the EDM scene Sonny was under the impression it was a more grown up genre which offered long-term stability for his musical creativity like it has for Sven Vath and Carl Cox. Yet, what he has found is his fan base reach a certain age and simply decide EDM, as a whole, is fucking shit and move on to deep house. He doesn’t own any V neck t-shirts and doesn’t take ketamine, so clearly cannot make any inroads into this genre.”
“I can confirm my final tour will take place in the UK where I will play to a number of infant and primary schools,” confirmed Skrillex. “And, as it’s my last ever show, every child will receive a free bag of purpose made Skrillex shaped Haribo on entering, which are actually just the mop shaped jellies from the bags of Super Mix.”
According to Wunderground sources, Skrillex will be joined by special guests, including Barney the Dinosaur, Diplo, Hardwell and the Safe Cross Code Kids, on the final leg of his UK tour.