Woman Accidentally Pokes Out Own Eye While Masturbating To Pics Of Tom Hardy And His Dog


Lady Loses Eye Masturbating To Tom Hardy Playing With His Dog

A young British woman has been hospitalised today after her finger slipped and poked out her own eye while she was wanking to pictures of actor Tom Hardy playing with his pet dog, Woodstock.

Samantha Graham, a heterosexual woman between the ages of 16 and death, and therefore Tom Hardy fanatic, was understood to have come across the “uterus trembling” pictures of Tom Hardy on Buzzfeed during work causing her to retire to the toilet with her smartphone for a “slippy fingered mid-work leg shake”.

“We had been sharing it around on Facebook all day and talking about how, if Tom asked, we’d probably let the dog fuck us as Tom watched, probably while whittling a tin whistle in the shape of his penis and crying,” explained Samantha’s co-worker Angela Heaney, a fellow Tom Hardy fan who says she also likes Cumberbatch but “not when he played that science lad who wanted to get gay with a computer”.

“Samantha gave me a cheeky wink….probably the last one she ever will give, and quipped that she was going to the toilet to vigorously massage her clitoris to orgasm,” she continued. “Usually she’s able to make herself come within five minutes so when after ten minutes she hadn’t returned I stopped reading the article about kale and quinoa sandwiches and went to the toilet to investigate.”

Angela claims that she found Samantha in the toilet, lying on the floor of the cubicle in a shuddering heap next to “vaginal juice, crumpled panties and an eyeball”.

“She didn’t seem in pain or anything, she had a strange smile on her flushed face and was cooing softly while repeating the phrase “oh Tom” over and over again,” explained Angela. “It was only after her post-orgasmic bliss abated that she realised that she had somehow poked out her own eye mid-wank.”

“When I asked her later what happened she said that the combination of manly good looks, cute and loving canines and the bond between the two made her vagina so wet that her hand literally slipped and a stray finger poked her eye out but that the orgasm was so rich and shuddering that she didn’t even notice the pain until after she was finished,” concluded Angela. “Thankfully, even though she’s now lost an eye, she still has one with which to look on pictures of super hunks displaying their sensitive sides.”


Like it? Share with your friends!

1.8k
1.8k shares

What's Your Reaction?

Clever Clever
0
Clever
Bedtime Bedtime
0
Bedtime
Fail Fail
0
Fail
Lol Lol
1
Lol
Love Love
0
Love
OMG OMG
0
OMG
Afterparty Afterparty
0
Afterparty
WTF WTF
2
WTF

Woman Accidentally Pokes Out Own Eye While Masturbating To Pics Of Tom Hardy And His Dog

log in

Become a part of our community!

Don't have an account?
sign up

reset password

Back to
log in

sign up

Join the Wunderground Community

Back to
log in
Close
Choose A Format
Story
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
Meme
Upload your own images to make custom memes
Video
Youtube, Vimeo or Vine Embeds
Gif
GIF format