Paris Hilton has today fired shots at Derrick Carter after the Chicago house legend went on a twenty four hour rant about the current state of the electronic music scene via a number of tongue in cheek tweets and Facebook status updates.
Carter jokingly labeled a number of stereotypical characters in today’s industry as “Derp House”, attacking DJ’s logos, fashion, image and any other instance where style is perceived as being more important than substance.
Hilton, who has been pressing play on CDJs since 2012, claims she “doesn’t even know who Derrick Carter is” and insisted that “being a DJ and producer for over thirty years doesn’t give him the right to diss totally hot and younger DJs”.
“I was like what’s a Derrick Carter and why is he so against Derp House,” asked the heiress. “I mean, he can’t be that big in the industry if someone with my pedigree isn’t aware of him, it is a him right?”
“What is that guy’s problem with Derp House?” asked Hilton in words muffled by a polished silver spoon she keeps in her mouth. “Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s bad and you get to hate on it. I don’t understand the times tables or where babies come from but I don’t go around calling them stupid on the internet every day.”
“I think he’s just jealous because he’s not involved in the Derp House revolution,” continued Hilton, whose DJ mixes have been critically acclaimed by people she pays to respond positively to everything she asks them. “If he wants to get left behind and look like he doesn’t pay somebody 80k a year to tell him what to wear then that’s his problem but he doesn’t have to bring the rest of us down with him.”
“Hasn’t he ever heard of PLUR?” enquired Hilton. “That, along with money, are the two most important things in the music industry. Who cares what type of music you play as long as everyone in the crowd has some molly and you get paid lots of money. Are we not all after the same thing here?”
“You can play house, tech house, electro house or derp house,” continued Paris. “It doesn’t matter to me at all because I live in a mansion, and I think I’m speaking for most of the other important people in the industry when I say that.”
Carter has yet to respond to Hilton’s comments although it is believed he’s sitting happily content in his Chicago house after having his rant vindicated by the self involved ramblings of one of Derp House’s leading lights.
