Man Who Hates Elrow Overdoses On His Own Misery
A large group of ravers were left fearing the worst last weekend after seeing a man rushed out of a nightclub under the impression he had overdosed on drugs, when in fact it was his own misery which got the better of him, leading to a night in A&E.
The incident occurred around three a.m. when thirty two year old Simon Green, from Oldham, England, finally “had enough” of the “shit and annoying” entertainment put on at the Elrow event he was attending, justifying his mates’ claims that he is a “miserable cunt”.
“Who doesn’t like Elrow?” asked his friend, Alan Bradley. “He moaned about the acrobats, the stilt walkers, the fire breathers, the confetti cannons and even the ravers who got involved by putting on funny hats. I wish I’d never invited him as all he ever does is put a dampener on everything, the fucking buzzkill. Elrow is a seriously fun event, I’m glad he ended up in hospital, hopefully the paramedics can sort out his attitude problem.”
Wunderground caught up with twenty one year old raver Zoe Mills, who witnessed the ambulance crew arrive at the club and take Simon away on a stretcher, “At first we all thought it was part of the brilliant Elrow show so we were cheering and throwing confetti at the bloke being carted out,” she told us. “People were getting selfies with him and everything. Obviously, when we realised they were real doctors and paramedics and the bloke was in all sorts of bother, we felt horrifically guilty and backed off.”
“Having found out he overdosed on his own self-pity, I really don’t know if I should laugh or cry,” she continued. “No doubt Islington Council and the Met Police will try to close down all Elrow events going forward, even though the bloke didn’t die. Those cunts love meddling don’t they? Yet, hearing that a man was so annoyed by people having a good time he let his misery levels ran so high he passed out, is just a fucking LOL. I hope he wakes up tomorrow feeling ashamed about being such a moody dickhead.”