Incorrectly named reality TV shit-pipe, MTV, made headlines today after the channel accidentally broadcast a music video
It is suspected that program controllers at the internationally known station forgot to line up a frothy and forgettable episode of The Kardashians and instead hit play on Aphex Twin’s seminal video for Windowlicker.
For some of our younger readers it’s worth briefly explaining that music videos were like mini-movies that were made to accompany songs and were regularly featured on MTV until around 2005, they now only find a home on popular websites like Youtube and, if you’re posh, Vimeo.
“I looked at the listings fully expecting to watch a repeat of The Hills or some other nonsense when all of a sudden I heard music coming through the speakers of the TV,” claimed frequent MTV viewer and whale lookalike Sandra Hitch, “it was probably the most shocking thing I’ve ever seen and I’m the type of person who watches Fox News for balanced political coverage.”
“Who would have expected a channel called Music Television to play music?” she asked. “When I turn on MTV I want to see Spencer Pratt’s hateful face and nothing else.”
“I didn’t know what was happening,” added Sandra. “I thought that maybe I’d sat on my tablet and accidentally switched over to Youtube but no, it was MTV, music videos on the TV, I’ve never seen anything like that.”
MTV has unequivocally apologised to anyone who may have been offended or upset by the interruption to their constant stream of out-of-touch reality shows featuring burnished rich American Z-celebs and assured viewers that it would never happen again.
“Here at MTV we pride ourselves in spoonfeeding our audience on cheaply made soap-opera reality TV so to have an artistic and compelling music video interrupt that is unforgivable and those responsible for this error have had their contracts terminated and will be given forty lashes at dawn.”
“I was utterly disappointed because I normally like to watch The Kardashians to crack out my morning wank,” claimed sofa masturbator Harry Green. “When the video came on I thought ‘Hey, hot women’ but then they turned into sort of monsters with a man’s smiling face on the women’s bodies which made it very hard for me to ejaculate.”
“I was lucky to bust a splosh in the end and I blame MTV for my needing those extra vinegar strokes,” he added.
A reported 10 million viewers are believed to have made similar mistakes with many of them having had to be assured by parents and older siblings that everything was okay.
“Some of them had never seen a video on MTV before and it came as quite a shock,” confided mother-of-two Betty Mable. “We had to sit down and tell our youngest Sandy that before MTV became a monolithic altar to mind-numbingly bland reality TV it used to play music videos all the time. ”
“The moment it happened I knew there was some kind of mistake as the last time MTV actually played anything other than a reality show based around someone vaguely famous was when they did a Michael Jackson marathon after he died.”
