If like me you’re sick of having stupid looking 90s youngfellas, who dress exactly like you did when you were 6, apart from the stupid looking glasses that weren’t even cool back then, stare at you like you have 2 heads, this list is for you.

1. Ice Cream Vans:

There was nothing better than the melodic chimes of an ice cream van to put your parent’s generosity into over drive, a shiny 20p piece being the ultimate goal for sprinting back to your house as quickly as possible. You could then use said 20p to buy a single smoke out of the van shop around the corner. RESULT!

2. Robbing Apples:

Unlike Clonmel the suburbs of north Dublin may not have had the Bulmers factory, but one thing we did was orchard, albeit in Dublin they were just apple trees growing in peoples back gardens. They still however contained the same booty and if you were brave enough to venture over a moderately sized wall you could fill your pockets with the finest crab apples Ireland had to offer, while they may have tasted bitter and made you feel sick, they were excellent for throwing at nerds!

3. Italia 90:

Give it a lash Jack, Give it a lash Jack, never never never say no! We all remember the street parties, we all remember Sheedy’s goal against England, but the best memory has to be robbing drink off your drunk Da to share with your mates, don’t remember too much of what happened next though!

4. Catching Bees:

Before the days of “the bees are dying” and “if all the bees disappear the world will end” bullshit. Bees were commodities that were seriously in demand with youngfellas. The best thing was catching a Red Arse, serious street credit for having one of them in a jar. The only thing that could beat it was catching a Queenie, but they can kill you if they sting so you’d want to be careful with them.

5. Straightners:

The school yard judicial system. There was literally nothing that a straighter couldn’t solve. Who’s the best at playing marbles? Why waste your time playing marbles, just have a straighter, marbles were for nerds anyway!

6. TV With Balls:

Back in the day we had so many positive male role models on TV, programs like The A Team, MacGyver, Airwolf and Night Rider gave us a real perspective of how to behave and what was important in life, all of which helped us progress into the hard as nails cunts that we are today!

7. Halloween:

The most Archaic time of year for us youngfellas, collecting wood transformed us back to a tribal society as one road would battle with another to see who could build the most impressive bonfires, it also taught us responsibility and valuable life lessons in areas like structural engineering.

8. 5 Spots:

It’s no wonder modern day youngfellas are turning out so stupid, they’ve probably all been smoking really strong weed since they were 10 years old, unlike us 80’s youngfellas who managed to ease ourselves into our drug habit with good old fashioned hash, best thing was we didn’t have to fork out €50 a go, it only cost us a 5er, that’s about €6.35 in modern money.

9. Fields:

We had so many fields to play in as kids, that we could literally do what ever we wanted, then along came the housing boom and filled them all up with over priced Lego houses. Honestly, I don’t even know where youngfellas learn to light fires these days!

10. Communal Porn:

No I don’t mean the stuff that the priests looked at back when we were youngfellas. I mean the porno mag that you’d find in a bush or a ditch, nobody owned it, it just belonged to all the youngfellas and it pretty much taught us everything we needed to know about the youngones. The internet has totally killed the novelty of the porno mag and I bet there’s not a single one to found in modern housing estates.