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March 30, 2015
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75% Of Online Dating Users Lying About Drug Use, Claims Study

A study carried out by scientists in white coats has confirmed that 75% of online dating users are lying about drug use.

The study was carried out on a number of dating sites, including PlentyOfFish, eHarmony and Match.com, where members were asked to fill in a confidential questionnaire in order to determine how truthful user profiles were.

“We found that most users were being relatively honest in their profiles,” explained lead scientist Dr. Phil Love. “The only areas we found where more than 50% of people were lying were salary and drug use.”

“When it came to salary a lot of people seemed to make small adjustments, maybe bumping themselves up from 30K to 40K,” continued Dr. Love. “But when we look at the drug use category it’s clear that the changes people were making were a lot more wholesale.”

“In people’s original profiles we found that only 10% admitted to any sort of recreational drug use,” claimed the doctor. “While in the confidential questionnaire we found that over 85% of people admitted to recreational drug with 50% of those admitting to using drugs more than once a week and a further 35% percent actually admitting to having a serious drug problem.”

“The most common drugs that people admitted using were, cannabis, speed, cocaine, ecstasy, M.D.M.A., heroin, ketamine, crack, crystal meth, benzos,” listed Dr. Love, “and pretty much anything else that gives you a buzz and is readily available on the street.”

When quizzed on why they had lied about their drug habits most users claimed they “didn’t think it was anyone else’s business” and they weren’t willing to let “a bit of mandy get in the way of a shag”.

According to the survey, drug use is most common in the 18-64 bracket and is equally distributed between male and female users.

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