A survey carried out by the North Korean Central Agency claims that 99% of North Korean people are happy with their lives after watching a mandatory episode of Geordie Shore last weekend.
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un decided that an episode of the incomprehensibly popular TV show would show the population that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Peasant farmer Park Nam-ji spoke to Wundergound’s North Korean correspondent earlier today, “I’ve always thought that life would be much better for me and my family away from North Korea but after watching some Geordie Shore I’m not so sure now.”
“I always believed that the people and the places would be friendly and glamorous,” continued the farmer who lives on less than 50p a day. “But I was wrong, the people are horrible, they act like filthy pigs and their voices sound like like some sort of evil pig demon farting and burping at the same time and there skin isn’t pink and cute at all, it looks like they’ve been rubbing horse shit onto themselves for the last ten years.”
“There’s no way I could live in that place either, it’s a total shit hole,” claimed Park Nam-ji, who comes from a small village with no sewage system or waste disposal. “It’s horrible I’d rather live in a work camp. You can take the West and stick it up your ass for all I care.”
Wunderground also spoke to Geordie Shore cast member Kyle Christie about the blasphemous claims made against the show, unfortunately he just mumbled something unfathomable, flexed his muscles, ran away and knocked himself out by trying to exit through a closed glass door.
