A young clubber who is reportedly fed up with lying to himself has today admitted that dance music is just better with drugs and that he only really listens to it and attends gigs for “the opportunity to take drugs”.
“I’m not really into music that much,” admitted Jeremy Davis, a 27 year old mechanic. “I much prefer the drug culture of dance music rather than the actual music of dance music.”
Jeremy admitted that he thinks dance music “is just sort of repetitive throbbing that becomes boring quickly if you’re not off your tits”.
Unconfirmed reports suggest that as many as 30% of regular clubbers actually have little or no interest in dance music and just use clubs and festivals as “sordid drug bubbles” where they can “snort and drop without being judged”.
Jeremy claims he has no knowledge of the Beatport Top 10 or “the names of any tracks” while insisting that “it’s nice music to get high to, but [he] wouldn’t listen to it at home” and that “if you took away the drugs from dance music culture then [he] probably wouldn’t be into it”.
“Basically I like taking drugs and drinking,” continued Jeremy. “I don’t really care where that has to happen. I mean dance music just happens to have an accepting drug culture that’s perfect for a person like me.”
“Because dance music, as everybody knows, is a reckless drug taking free for all I feel right at home,” he explained. “If country and western music had a massive drug taking subculture I’d be just as likely to be into that, although it’d be tough to handle all that denim, wife beating and alcoholism.”
