After taking a Buzzfeed quiz entitled “What Career Should You Actually Have”, a successful computer programmer has today decided to give up his highly paid and secure job to pursue whatever random career the quiz spat out.
“I was stuck in a bit of a rut, earning a very handsome wage in a comfortable yet challenging job with people I liked and respected, when I decided to undertake the Buzzfeed quiz,” confessed 36 year old Darren Markham. “I took the test and based on non-specific, random questions and information like what city I’d like to live in or how I’d spend a sudden cash windfall, the hi-tech and not at all pointless quiz was able to pinpoint exactly what career I should actually be doing.”
Darren says that the painstakingly crafted quiz supported by employment and recruitment experts nowhere, asked him a series of irrelevant career based questions such as which genre of movie he preferred or which of cinema’s most popular trilogies was his favourite, and using that information was able to determine that his actual career should be a CEO.
“Out of multitude of eight random results I could have gotten, I received the news that I should be a CEO of, presumably a major successful company,” explained Darren. “So, with that in mind I instantly quit my job and have been sending CVs out to every company on the Fortune 500 list.”
“I’m expecting a call back for an interview any day now,” he added.
Darren claims that when he saw his result he was initially disheartened, because he believed that his skills lay in his understanding of computers and he relished the friendships and team building in his current happy workplace, but felt “the results don’t lie” and his answer “even had a picture of Oprah on it, so you know it’s legit”.
“I wasn’t sure on a few of the questions,” confided Darren. “Some of them, like ‘what do you consider your biggest strength’, have such broadly similar answers that made it difficult to decide whether on which to click, because I consider myself both ‘observant’ and a ‘critical thinker’. The science of these things is so precise that I didn’t want to mess up my results and end of ruining my life by getting the wrong career.”
Darren believes he also struggled with some of the other questions and that in some cases he could “have selected all of the answers” based on how he was feeling on a particular day. “The one about trilogies was especially tough, I love all trilogies,” he moaned. “But I guess having a preference towards a particular trilogy is such a deciding factor in what your future career will be that you just have to pick one. So I went with Back to the Future even though I do love Star Wars.”
“Some naysayers think that I’m a crazy and that the quiz is just a bit of pointless click bait for day dreamers who are mildly unhappy with their jobs,” continued Darren, “but what if it’s right and I am a CEO, a position which takes years of ruthless business savvy to procure, and I just don’t know it because I’ve been doing a job I’m extremely good at and qualified for?”
“It might be the worst decision I’ve ever made,” admitted Darren. “But at least I know that I gave this potentially disastrous and definitely life altering decision the 60 seconds of attention it deserved before my lunch break ended and I had to go back to work.”
