In shocking news today it has emerged that pantomine villain from hit 90s TV show Gladiators, Wolf real name Michael VanWijk, is pregnant for the world’s highest paid DJ, Calvin Harris.
The revelation that Calvin and Wolf have been having an affair is sure to rock the worlds of dance music and Saturday night light entertainment to their very cores.
“Wolf and Calvin have had an on-off thing going for years,” confirmed a source close to both men. “Calvin was impressed by Wolf all throughout his teens until they were finally introduced at one of John Fashanu’s Ibiza parties where they hit it off immediately, at one point having a playful game of Duel on the dancer podiums using some pillows tied to sticks.”
Calvin has always been a big fan of the TV show Gladiators and sometimes watches taped videos of old episodes when on tour and forces roadies to compete with him in some of the events from the show like wall climbing and running up backwards elevators, “To this day Calvin can’t walk past a travelator without trying to run up it with a happy grin on his face,” added the source.
News that Calvin has been having an affair and is set to have a love child with a leotard wearing, viking-haired, sports cock is sure to cause strain in Calvin’s relationship to singer Rita Ora, who is said to be heartbroken but unsurprised by the news, citing Calvin’s incessant requests to play Gladiator event Hang Tough using a specially converted sex swing in the singer’s home.
“Wolf isn’t a woman so it’s quite astounding that he has been able to conceive,” continued the source but it is believed that the couple “both agreed that Wolf should undergo hormone therapy so that they could have the child that they both dearly wanted.”
“Well it was the long hair, the villainous scowl and the ability to beat up people that attracted Calvin to Wolf,” described the insider, “whereas Wolf was drawn to Calvin’s music with the bright lights, energetic beats and people clad in brightly coloured leotards that you find at a typical Calvin Harris show.”
The sex of the baby is not yet known, but both men are believed to be hoping for a Russell Crowe, the original gladiator/famous singer.
lmfao!!!!! nice.