It has emerged today that a recent concert by EDM tosser, of cakes, Steve Aoki was actually a secret trap set to catch “thick people and their thick mates”.
“We caught a record amount of idiots,” gushed a source from the Mensa Idiot Elimination Alliance which has a target of reducing the amount of idiots world wide by 2030. “There were more stupid people there than in any one location we’ve been to before, and we’ve been to the U.N., Vatican City and Tomorrowland.”
The operation, claimed the source, was carried out simply by advertising a Steve Aoki gig and then putting everyone who attended into “a big net” after which they were be shipped to a secret location where, following a series of psychological tests designed to determine idiocy, they will be humanely put to sleep.
“Essentially we used Steve Aoki as a giant fly trap to snare as many mentally underdeveloped people as we could because like flies to honey idiots are inherently attracted to Steve’s brand of EDM,” continued the source who said they’d previously performed this sting at a Miley Cyrus show but had to stop doing it because they were “catching more idiots than [they] could handle at once”.
They claim that people who enjoy Steve’s music and live show involving cake being thrown into people’s faces and crowd surfing on an inflatable raft “are obviously nothing but the dumbest, most brain dead people alive” and that “quickly and efficiently ending their lives is actually a small mercy”.
“It’s the best thing for them,” added the source who says that the next sting will take place once Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike start touring.
According to the source this isn’t the first event used to catch thick people claiming that other sting operations that have been targeted at catching stupid people include – cinema showings of Michael Bay films, UKIP meetings, mass and X-Factor auditions.
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