An heroic young DJ has today been lauded across the dance music world after he selflessly stopped himself from petulantly moaning about slight inconveniences he experienced when flying to a gig.
DJ/producer Alex White was flying to a gig in Bournemouth from London’s Heathrow last Sunday when he bravely decided not to take to Twitter upon hearing that the flight, which the promoters of the gig he was going to paid for, was ever so slightly delayed by one whole human hour.
“I was absolutely seething,” declared Alex, who claims that he even had his phone fully charged with Twitter open when this disgusting abuse of his rights occurred. “Naturally I went to tweet my disappointment at this every day unavoidable problem in the most extreme terms possible, but for some reason, I still don’t know why, I decided to bite my tongue.”
Alex claims that not moaning on Twitter was completely unplanned and something that “just happened in the moment” but insists that if it happened again he’d probably react in the same way and that he “just done what anyone would have done”.
“After boarding the plane, an hour and a half after the specified time, it became apparent that I was seated at the back of the plane in a really cheap seat after having specifically asked for a middle seat with leg room,” continued Alex. “Normally that would have took up to three, maybe four tweets of righteous indignation aimed at Ryanair’s unprofessionalism, but again I managed to somehow stop myself with a degree of effort that I can only describe as super human.”
Alex claims that he felt another wave of indignation at how he was callously being treated with the usual amount of casual disregard by the airline when he arrived at what he described as “a shithole of an airport” where he was forced to wait until after customs before he could get a coffee, like “some kind of fucking leper”.
“In spite of all I’ve been through I’m no hero, the real heroes are the people who every day go out there and deal with minor inconveniences without blowing them out of all proportion,” he added. “It’s those people we should be celebrating here today.”
“Not since Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus have we witnessed such an act of public courage,” gushed British Prime Minister David Cameron who claims that Alex’s courage in the face of inconsequential annoyances is an example we should all aspire to. “This one minor act of self control will surely echo throughout the world as one of the only times a DJ didn’t instantly take to Twitter to complain about something or other.”
“Today,” he concluded, “courage has a new name…Alex.”
