A revolutionary “smart drug”, which is said to make takers up to one hundred times smarter, is reportedly selling very well among idiots.
The drug, which is called Brain-boner, was released in January by American pharmaceutical corporation Pfizzer and retails at approximately twenty five dollars.
Barry Spencer, a spokesman for Pfizzer, recently spoke about the drug, “We are delighted with how well Brain-boner is selling, it’s surpassed all expectations.”
“Obviously only an idiot would believe that there is actually a drug out there that would make you a hundred times smarter than you actually are,” explained the spokesman. “So by targeting those people and exploiting their dumbness we’ve pulled off a very profitable new new enterprise.”
“The pills are basically just Tic Tacs, only they don’t taste great, refresh your breath for up to two hours and have far more than two calories,” continued Mr. Spencer, “but by putting big words like ‘neurological’ and having a picture of a brain on the box we’ve managed to trick a large percentage of the population into believing they’re actually making them smarter.”
Brain-boner user, Kelly Di Marco, says that she is “totes more cleverer” since she has been taking the drug, after mistakenly buying the smart pill thinking it was “a computer tablety thing” like her “smart phone only bigger”.
Di Marco claims to be “really smart at adding numbers, getting dressed and guessing what she’ll be having for lunch” all of which were things she would have struggled with before taking the drug.
