The Vatican has dispatched its Delta Force Ghost Response Team to Birmingham, England, in response to claims that an apparition of the Virgin Mary has appeared in a bag of drugs.
The claims were made early this morning at a routine house party where a number of friends were said to be “getting on it” when the holy image appeared.
Martin Brady, an eye witness, described the appearance of the earthly mother of Jesus as “the greatest thing ever” and confirmed that the bag of drugs became extra potent after her appearance.
House, and bag of drugs, owner Stuart Grimes explained the incident, “Myself and a few mates were just sitting around my house chipping away at a big bag of 2C-I when she appeared.”
“Things started to get a little weird at one point, my mate Steve was staring at the bag, repeating the same couple of words over and over for about an hour,” revealed Mr. Grimes. “We were kind of getting a bit worried about him but then he just shouted ‘fuck me it’s the Virgin Mary’, we all thought he was just being daft but then we looked and there she was covered in white powder and looking holier than I’ve ever seen her look before.”
“We didn’t know what to do with her so I rang my cousin James, who got a B in his GCSE Religious Studies exam,” continued an enlightened looking Mr. Grimes. “But he just said “you’ve got 2C-I? Can I come over and have some?’ and he did.”
“I really don’t know how the Vatican found out about it because we didn’t tell anyone else. I guess the Pope must be psychic, just like that Scouse lad Derek Acorah of the telly,” continued Mr. Grimes, “but they’re wasting their time sending over a team to find her because we snorted her about four hours ago. She was really good I’m still tripping balls now to be honest with you.”
Unconfirmed reports suggest that the Virgin Mary was not the only fictional character to appear in the house after a reported sighting of Batman in the bathroom and Freddy Krurger on the landing.
