Chris Brown has overtaken Justin Bieber to become the most popular person on micro-blogging website Twitter!
The stunning surge in Brown’s popularity came after the star savagely beat a waitress to death at a Chicken and Waffle establishment in East Vermont last Friday.
According to eye witnesses, the R’N’B singer was unhappy with the quality of the woman’s service and after an unfortunate mix up involving Diet Coke and Coke Zero, took it upon himself to reprimand her for her poor work ethic.
Catching the waitress with an open handed uppercut to the forehead, Brown promptly clothes-lined her to the floor before loudly listing a number of gripes he had with her sub-par physical appearance and lackluster professionalism.
As the mother of four lay suitably prostrate and defenseless, a visibly aroused Brown proceeded to poke the life from her eyes with his elbows.
Various bystanders have confirmed that an ecstatic Brown went on to achieve an “earth shattering orgasm” as he dislocated the waitress’s soul from her body with a full force loaf to the tits.
Brown immediately tweeted fans about the incident from his Blackberry handset, boasting of his outlandish behavior while sporadically gnawing lumps of cheek flesh from the still warm corpse.
The Tweet read: “just stomped tired ass waitress to death. Lol! Check my new Album, July 5th. gonna be off da hook!”
Within minutes Brown became the most popular person in the history of Twitter with his followers increasing from 10 million to 39 million in less than an hour.
Police fear Brown’s surge in Twitter popularity may cause a slew of copycats hoping to emulate his success, with Ashton Kutcher already cautioned by the LAPD for digitally raping a Cambodian barista to the point of sepsis on Sunday afternoon.
WORDS: Keith Jordan
