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June 18, 2014
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Ageing Raver Extending Age At Which He Stops Clubbing To 45

Justin Grimly, a 39 year old raver from Liverpool, has today made the decision to push back his clubbing retirement age to 45 instead of hanging up his dancing shoes at 40 like he intended.

“Forty is the age that every one of my friends have decided that the party was over,” explained Justin who was operating under the assumption that his thirties were “basically an extra decade onto his twenties” and that he’d finally settle down and stop raving at forty.

“I was planning to call it quits at forty too,” he continued. “Finally hang up the glowsticks and go out on a high after the Ibiza season ends but I think I might push it back another few years.”

“I’ve definitely still got a few years in the tank, I’m still young-ish, my legs aren’t gone and, most importantly, I’ve still got a lot of hunger for the scene.”

Justin insists that he didn’t reach the decision to keep clubbing lightly but felt that he had unfinished business with his clubbing career that he needed to get done before retiring.

“There’s loads I’ve never done,” he explained. “Stuff like Burning Man, Goa and the burgeoning Croatian festival scene are all things I want to experience so it’d be a shame to take my job seriously and have kids now when there’s so many new raves to go to.”

Justin claims that although he’s slowed down a bit over the last few seasons from a 2010 peak which saw him neck “a personal best 200 pills over the course of a summer month”, he still has a lot to offer and he’s excited to keep going.

“I’ve no kids, all my own teeth and while I may look embarrassingly old at some parties people are raving for longer these days thanks to the advances in modern dance music and an inability to avoid the session.”

Justin’s retirement about-face has been met with widespread praise from his friends who still party regularly. “He’s a legend and I’m glad he’s not retiring,” claimed one. “The way he still controls a party with his excellent drug work and amazing levels of track appreciation is a marvel. I hope when I’m forty I’ll still be going as strong as him.”

“He’s definitely a role model for any of the young people coming into the scene,” concluded another admirer. “He’s proof that if you keep yourself drunk, drugged and shady then you can have real staying power and the party never, ever has to end.”

10 Comments Leave a Reply

  1. Finally after forgetting himself in Ibiza for too long and getting fired, our friend Justin aka Dimmy turned to the internet to ask for some help to keep fueling his molly-infused raves. Alas, with limited success.

  2. 39 here too, and loving the UK hardcore scene more than ever. And I can proudly boast never a pill taken or a powder snorted!!

    • Going to UK hardcore and NOT taking drugs is not something to brag about. What is your excuse for listening to all that shitty music if not for the drugs?

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