“Industrial Techno Is Way Too Commercial These Days” Claims Gabber Fan

A gabber fan has today launched a scathing attack on industrial techno by labeling the entire genre as “way too commercial” and suggesting that “only pussies listen to industrial techno nowadays”.

The news comes as a major surprise to industrial techno fans who up until now have considered themselves the “shining knights” of underground music owing to their loyalty to the most brutal of ear splitting industrial sounds.

Peter Dignam, a techno fan from Stoke-on-Trent, spoke of his shock upon hearing the news, “I just couldn’t believe it when I heard a gabber fan had said industrial techno was way too commercial, I always thought we shared a mutual respect with gabber fans.”

“Personally I wouldn’t listen to gabber because, like all genres that aren’t industrial techno, I think it’s shit,” continued Mr. Dignam, “but I thought that making blanket statements against all other types of music was something that techno and gabber fans had in common and that there was an unspoken rule that meant we’d only publicly slag off genres that use melodies and harmonious vocals,” he added.

“I’ve really enjoyed being perched on my high horse slagging off house, deep house, tech house, progressive house, electro and pretty much anything with a BPM under 128 over the past few years,” admitted Dignam. “But after this I definitely wont be doing it anymore, it’s been a bit of an eye opener and to be perfectly honest with you it hurts.”

“I think it’s time that fans off all types of underground electronic music quit their bickering and unite,” suggested Mr. Dignam hopefully. “It shouldn’t be about who listens to what, or this is better than that, it should be about a love for music, and besides, there’s a much bigger elephant in the room that needs to be addressed now,” claimed Mr. Dignam. “It’s called EDM and I really believe it’s the one genre that could unite the entire electronic music industry through shared mutual hatred,” he added.

As a result of Mr. Dignam’s new found tolerance to other musical genres he has suggested that he will take in a number of house music gigs and despite already deciding that they will be “shite” he promises to give them all a fair chance and will only take the piss out of the music when he is safely out of earshot of his house loving friends.