A young bedroom producer has reportedly taken to Facebook for the sixth weekend in a row to post a status letting everyone know that he would be staying in all weekend to work on some tracks.
Barry Jacobs, a self professed “sound engineer, beat maker and tonal impressario”, makes further claims that he doesn’t want to go out partying because “making tunes is so important to [him]” – a claim he also made unsolicited via a Facebook status update which received seven likes, most of which came from fellow self promoting “producers”.
He was also keen to point out how much he loves “these weekends off from partying where [he] can work on some serious beats” and how much he “can’t wait to drop these sick bangers on fuckers” because apparently “people are going to freak at this shit”.
“Nothing beats just chilling out, unwinding and getting stuck into making tunes bro,” he was heard tell a casual friend unprompted at a party. “I’ve been making tunes for years,” he continued, holding back from saying “I’m cool aren’t I? Love me please, I make music.”
Friends of the “producer” were quick to dismiss his claims that he’d be “strapped to ProTools all day Saturday”, claiming that in the five years that he has been DJing and producing they’ve never heard a completed track.
“Yeah I’ve heard snippets and 30 second clips of beats,” remarked one, David, “but never a fully formed and finished track.”
“I actually called over to him on one of his producing weekends,” he continued. “I found him playing World of Warcraft eating cheese Doritos and smoking spliffs.”
“He said he was just ‘taking a break’ but I could tell that he was lying by the embarrassed look in his eye and the fact that there was about four hours worth of wanked-in tissue in the bin,” David added. “The ones on top weren’t even crusty yet.”
“He always posts the same statuses on Facebook that say he’s busy working on his album despite the fact that he definitely isn’t, no-one has ever heard his music and his bedroom, rather than being a recording studio, is more accurately described as a wank dungeon,” concluded David. “It’s almost as if he just wants the props and acclaim of being a serious musician without actually being one.”
hilarious. owned
Is that foreign concept from critical
it never ceases to amaze me, the amount of effort people invest in criticizing others on the internet. Can we star using our powers for good…or at least refrain from creating negativity just because something inside us feels justified in putting other people down. Apparently it somehow makes them feel bigger and better.
Pretty sure this isn’t real. Or at least the people aren’t real, nor the situation — at least not as a whole. on an individual basis they’re quite acturate.
this is surely a satire of some of some us. I’ve seen myself a bit in this, the “I make music, I’m cool, ain’t I!?” but people just don’t care, neither do I.
Welcome to the internet. Enjoy your stay.
You yourself are now one of those people criticising others rather than doing something productive! Welcome!
good point! I just hope to help people think about what they say. there is a human being behind that screen with feelings, with a soul. I think we tend to forget that. Sometimes its hard for me to believe just how mean people can be. I hope for more peace and love. I get tired of seeing how much other dj/producers etc put others down for their tequnique/skill/music choice or whatever or even what partygoesr wear to events. I still believe in PLUR baby..thats what I first learned when I got into the music scene.
Well, I can see that the satire wasn’t lost on you. Go troll somewhere else.
Also, “PLUR” is fucking stupid, and so is everyone who utters that stupid-ass acronym.
I love you!!! <3
I apologize if i offended anyone, but i truly thought I was standing up for someone who was being made fun of. Could you imagine if it was real Maybe they might find it humorous, or maybe they were so severely depressed..hence the non ability to actually do the things they said you were gonna do..that it sent them over the edge. I did it out of love and compassion, not to try an “Troll” someone’s satire. If I had known this was all fake..I would not have said anything and saved my comments.
Don’t worry I am sure no one was offended, just confused that you seemed to miss the point. I meant no offense either, simply a tongue-in-cheek way to point out the circularity of judging people for being judgmental*. You seem to have a good conscience but have overthought the article maybe. This piece is satirising those people who are not struggling music producers, but people who want to play at being something for street cred or to feed their ego without actually being genuine. Fakers. Talkers. Bulls**ters.
*Of course in criticising your criticism of others criticism, I perpetuate the cycle, and thus the world continues to turn 🙂 Peace brother.
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore -_- maybe there is intelligent life out there
The moment you use PLUR is the moment people know youre a moron.
Robin is simply bringing to light the fact that this person has chosen to write an offensive piece about someone he has probably never even met. And I’m pretty sure the attacked guy hasn’t done anything to the writer of this article.
I’m with you Robin, very nagative piece on a guy who’s terrible crime is by the sound of it, being a bit of a stoner pffft. Wow, knockout stuff…
Maybe I’m being negative by even saying something..so is there a difference? Is speaking up and out against negativity being negative? Is remaining silent being positive or just being complacent. Cyber Bullying is a very real issue..sometimes even leading to suicide. Im sure that many people would agree that speaking out against bullies makes a difference, helps to stop bullies, protect those who are being bullied. Just as we should speak out against rape, war, animal cruelty etc. We also take a risk by speaking out against these things because we may be criticized or bullied ourselves..perhaps thats why some people remain silent.
It’s not about a real person or bullying anyone Robin, it’s a satire, entirely fictitious…
Ah I see! LOL. Well, perhaps it was a good forum/article to bring to light a good discussion.
If you think building a pedestrian crossing in the middle of a lake is a good way to make an important point then yes.
Unity comes before Love, Respect comes before Peace, ULRP
You do realize that Wunderground Music is a satire site, right?
LOL. I do now.
I still feel that what I posted was relevant, becasue this type of criticizing/bullying is real and happens to real people. I thank the article for allowing this type of discussion to take place.
If you would have read the article, I mean open up the cover and look at the pages INSIDE, you would understand that it is SATIRE.
But no, you decided to be a self-righteous wanker. This is why we are trolling you now. Welcome to ze interwebzzzz
No, I didn’t. I’m new here.
I apologize if i offended anyone, but i truly thought I was standing up for someone who was being made fun of. Could you imagine if it was real Maybe the person might find it humorous, or maybe they were so severely depressed..hence the non ability to actually do the things you said you were gonna do..that it sent them over the edge. I did it out of love and compassion, not to try an “Troll” someone’s satire. If I had known this was all fake..I would not have said anything and saved my comments.
The world is a weird, sometimes vicious, but mostly amazing place… Sometimes we are a little too eager to see what we want to see, and our filters cause us to react in irrational ways. Laugh, learn, move forward, and lighten up – the sun is still shining 🙂
I just puked in my mouth, a little bit
Congrats. You just trolled a satire article. Get off your soapbox and enjoy the humor.
This article isn’t just making fun of 1 person, its constructively criticizing an entire populous of pricks…. This message should reach all bedroom producers… directly… publicly. Nothing says plur like a freshly uncrusted wank basket.
I agree, taking time to blog about someone building confidence, regardless of how little they contribute to the music industry, is shallow as fuck!. You are either BOARD, OR DAFT…….. and I don’t mean punk.. Even for wunderground this is bad.. .. and that says a lot.
Board.
It’s called satire, you should learn about it sometime.
Wank Dungeon 🙂
hahaa
This is simply genius, and even it is real, welcome to the music business, getting ribbed is only the start!
Haha looks like this article struck a chord. It’s just a parody, and a funny one at that.
I can see from this comment section that this article struck a chord in some of these people HAHA!
If you’re offended by this it probably describes you
I get 200 likes average on a post ha ha 🙂
cant wait to hear the tracks and if you can bear to make tracks, have a bungalow in Nottingham for de bunga music and additional good news they laying tram tracks in beeston. next door neighbor is 84 and very quite. cheers mags
That reminds me. Get tracks finished, and buy more Doritos.
Why was the picture changed?
why is this news?
they aren’t ‘wank tissues’, I’ve had a bad cold
Wow this article took an unexpected turn hahahah
My bedroom project PVLMS just released a new track. Check it out!!?? Who’s the troll now?? Haha me. https://soundcloud.com/pvlms/the-cataclysm
Lol…I have friends at school who think downloading FL Studio makes them a producer.
Oh dear fucking God get a sense of humour, I am EXACTLY this stereotype, I do this shit to the “t” and find this satyrical article to be funny. PS I’M MAKING SOME SICK BEATS GUYS
This is such a shit article. Why even bother….
Sort of late to the game here.. but the thing is, these photos were taken from a college kids youtube channel who actually built a studio and then seemed to stop his career after building it (kind of ironic) – https://www.youtube.com/user/AphexWolf1/videos
Like all good humour/ satire there is an element of truth that is exaggerated a lot (or in this case not that much ;)…. I see myself, and all my 14 followers in this a lot … apart from the wank basket, of course. People shouldn’t be so precious- have a laugh at yourself sometimes. Just over the weekend I made a sweet 4 beat loop that would surely be an Ibiza hit if I laid down some soulful vocals (which I probably never will because I am too underground). If there is one thing better that being on a guest list at a dusty new venue, it’s keeping the dream alive that spending all my spare cash on home recording equipment will prosper into pillows of cash and girls. I’m saving for an LED sign of my own name for my studio (bedroom)…. CHECK ME OUT ON SOUNDCLOUD!!!! PEACE FAM!