DJ Mag Re-Launch Annual Competition To See Which EDM “DJ” Has Biggest Advertising Budget

EDM apologists DJ Mag this week re-launched their annual DJ popularity contest which accurately measures the advertising budgets of some of EDM’s most publicised stars such as David Guetta, Calvin Harris and Steve Aoki.

“For a number of years now this has been the test for an EDM DJ,” claimed DJ Mag spokesperson and EDM explosion wave-rider, Tom Barry. “I’m so excited to find out which of the DJs poured the most money into an agency for the chance to feature on an arbitrary, meaningless list.”

Previous winners including Armin Van Buuren and David Guetta have reportedly spent in the “hundreds of thousands” promoting themselves for the number one slot across a variety of media including DJ Mag itself.

According to Tom the magazine stopped caring about actual talent “some time around 2009” and now only cares about how marketable a DJ is by measuring the money he or she is prepared to spend to get the coveted top spot – which is guaranteed to increase the DJ’s fee among bookers and promoters whose love of dance music stretches to how much money then can make off the back of it like SFX Entertainment.

“The money spent in each DJs promotional campaign is likely to be used for hiring expert consultants for Facebook and Twitter campaigns,” continued Tom. “But some of it might even be used for billboards, TV slots and, in the case of Avicii, a line of condoms.”

“We stopped measuring DJs based on skill when we realised people were more likely to buy our magazine if we just catered to what was commercially viable,” explained Tom. “Most of the DJs on the list aren’t even DJs. A more accurate description would be that the DJs in the list are brands, like Nike, Monsanto or Tampax.”

Tom claims that these heavily branded DJs need a high placement on the list to get the best performance fee they can and also so that they are recognisable to pop acts who want to make cynical yet appropriate-to-the-zeitgeist, EDM flavoured pop records – for this to happen they need to splash the advertising budget around and “buy your way to the top”.

Last year’s winner Hardwell, who arrived at the re-launch ceremony wearing the customary DJ Mag Number 1 DJ pajamas in the company of his model Doberman, Cynthia and ghost writer, Kasper said he plans to drop a cool million on this year’s promotional campaign which he’s confident will ensure that “enough clueless and moronic EDM/pop fans will actually believe that he’s the world’s number one DJ”.