Internet Hero To End World Conflict With Angry Facebook Status Update
A self proclaimed internet hero is planning on putting an end to world conflict by making a series of angry Facebook status updates.
Prompted by recent conflict in Isreal, Miles Baker, has come to the realisaation that “something has to be done about this” with a number of angry status updates aimed squarely at the Israeli government.
Baker, who recently returned from a two week holiday where he “cut himself off from the world” by not using Facebook, is believed to be totally “devastated” by recent events, saying that he “can’t believe no one is doing anything about this” from the comfort of his own home.
“When will people open their eyes to what is really happening in the world?” he asked after getting fully up to speed on the ins and outs of world politics by reading an article in The Sun. “We need to do something to stop this NOW! Things can’t go on like this,” he compassionately continued before turning his laptop off and popping out for a spot of lunch and temporarily forgetting all of the world’s problems over a “glass or two of vino”.
Mr. Barker also posted a Facebook status update last week urging “all of his friends” to attend a protest against the Israeli government’s excessive use of force, which took place last Saturday, saying, “Let’s do this people, let’s make our voices heard.” However, after what Mr. Baker described as “a heavy night on the tiles” and an early morning rain shower he was unable to attend.
“Hope everyone at the protest this morning didn’t get too wet,” he stated in response to his no-show, “only just after scraping myself out of my bed now let’s hope the message was sent loud and clear.”
Unfortunately for Mr. Baker the terrible events in Israel continued despite his best efforts and he again took to Facebook to vent his frustration, “After all of the protests nothing has changed. There HAS to be an alternative to this. Let’s stop this now.”
When quizzed about possible alternatives and ways to end the conflict in the comments section of his latest post Mr. Barker responded offhandedly with, “I don’t know maybe try doing something different like not fighting. Some people just don’t get it.”
Mr. Baker is also said to be extremely concerned about the outbreak of the Ebola virus in West Africa and, having recently mobilised his Twitter and Facebook accounts, is planning a full scale assault on the virus after he has finished eradicating world conflict through the medium of status updates.