Drug dealers the length and breadth of the country are selling cocaine under false pretenses by claiming that all of their product is “straight off the plane from Colombia”.
According to Michael O’Neill of the Concerned Drug Consumers Association drug users should treat any claim by drug dealers which suggest their cocaine is straight from Colombia with extreme caution after a number of these claims were proved to be fraudulent in recent weeks.
We caught up with Mr. O’Neill, “It’s terrible, dealers are going around making these claims about their coke being straight off the plane from Colombia when in reality this couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“In a recent case we actually traced the source of the cocaine and rather than coming straight off the plane from Colombia it came straight from the lower intestine, via the arse, of a middle aged Nigerian man called Daniel,” claimed a clearly concerned Mr. O’Neill. “That’s just one of a long list of similar incidents, it’s time we put a stop to these ridiculous claims.”
“When a dealer says his gear is straight of the plane from Colombia he’s actually just highlighting his own ignorance,” continued O’Neill. “Because if there’s one thing we learnt from watching The Peru Two, also known as Michaella McCollum and Melissa Reid, getting caught smuggling cocaine out of Peru it wasn’t that international drug smuggling is risky or that even hot birds look stupid with a bun in their hair, it was that Peru is now the world’s leading producer of cocaine. Not to mention the fact that a significant amount of cocaine in this country comes through our ports.”
“If a dealer can’t even be trusted to know a simple fact like this how are we supposed to trust the quality of their cocaine?” he asked. “It’s time for the drug users of this country to unite and let the dealers know we don’t care where the coke comes from just give it to us as quickly as possible so we can shovel it up our noses.”
