An idiotic EDM fan has shocked his entire class by suggesting that the sync button should be used to end the conflict which is currently raging between Israelis and Palestinians.
Daniel Westbrook, a sixteen year old high school student and avid David Guetta fan, made the audacious claim during a debate on the conflict in a Model UN class at St. Johns High-school, Chicago, Illinois.
“The sync button is like such an amazing tool,” claimed Daniel while addressing his classmates. “It can totally make what seems like two totally different tracks become one awesome mega track, or mashup as people in the know such as myself like to say, so why can’t we just do this with countries too?” he asked to a group of bewildered sixteen year olds, struggling to grasp his stupidity.
Daniel also went on to discuss how other aspects of EDM could help to solve major conflicts throughout the world, “If we look at crappy countries like Israel, Palestine, Iraq and Northern Ireland, they don’t even have EDM or Kandi or any cool stuff, they’ve probably never even heard of David Guetta or Kaskade so it’s no wonder they’re all totally killing each other with bows and arrows.”
“If we could just send them some EDM they’d totally swap their weapons for some good old fashioned P.L.U.R. and everyone would just get on fine,” continued the idiot. “Who’s to say maybe one day EDM can even unite North and South Dakota and all the little Chinese guys over there can be happy again,” he continued clearly mistaking the north central American states for the Korean peninsula.
David went on to discuss how he believes the lyrics from David Guetta’s hit single Bulletproof could be used when training soldiers for modern warfare, “If you look at the words of the song ‘I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose, Fire away, fire away, Ricochet, you take your aim, Fire away, fire away,'” he awkwardly sang, “They’re like totally inspirational and stuff and if you got the soldiers to sing songs like this instead of the songs you normally hear soldiers singing when they’re running in movies they’d probably totally kill less people.”
David closed his argument by stating that “EDM is the greatest American invention since the wheel” and that “the sooner the rest of the world knows about it, the sooner all the looser countries stop killing each other”.
