A young student from London captured the hearts and minds of the internet yesterday when it was discovered that he goes out of his way to only ever listen to music “that no-one has ever heard of”.
Reports claim that the young art student, Kyle Daniels, who identifies as “something of a hipster except less mainstream”, spends days digging through the most obscure music he can find from around the world and selflessly tells people he meets about it to seem relevant and interesting.
“Obscure, poorly produced, shit music needs a champion. Kyle is that champion,” remarked one Twitter follower, Alan, who was moved by Kyle’s “grace and bravery” and has followed his remarkable journey as he attempts to change the world “one unpronounceable band at a time”.
“Have a nonsense noise band that only records to 8 track on the night of a full moon that is mostly just the sound of howling over an annoying electronic whirr? Send him your tapes,” continued Alan. “Make music using robotic drums and a Commodore 64 that you bought off Bill Oddie in 1987 that sounds exactly like a machine incessantly punching a cat in the face? Give him a call.”
Friends of Kyle’s (pictured listening to the new album by Vicar Dribble, a Canterbury based neo-dubtronic duo of three) claim that “he’s not doing this for fame or money” and that he’s far too modest for that and because “putting effort into doing stuff is like lame and stuff”.
“If you asked Kyle why he was doing this or what he was listening to now,” claimed Kyle’s friend Adam, “he’d probably just shrug while avoiding eye contact and say something like ‘it doesn’t matter what I’m listening to, you’ve probably never heard of them.'”
“He’s such a trooper,” he added.
Kyle was reticent to be interviewed but said he had a few minutes free of “trawling endlessly through Hypemachine” to explain how he has bravely given a helping hand to struggling bands the world over.
“I don’t know what it is, but when people think that you know an up and coming synth-pop act from Canberra even though they’ve never been in the news and you live in London….they really look at you, you know?” remarked Kyle. “Where before people would just wait for their turn to talk, now – when I mention a Californian klezmer band who play using their teeth – they really listen.”
“If people think that makes me some kind of hero well then, I guess I can’t do much about it,” he concluded selflessly, doing a good job and making a real difference in people’s lives. “Little known, non-mainstream bands are dying every 30 seconds because of disinterest. I’m in a position to prevent that and seem mysteriously clued in at the same time so I’m happy to play my part. Are you?”
