A young English woman has admitted that she was not really into the guy she hooked up with at a party last night but was willing to sleep with him because his coke was lovely.
Anita Morgan, known to associates as “a bit of a party slut”, is believed to have tested five different men’s cocaine before deciding who to shamelessly cling onto for the rest of the night in order to feed her drug habit.
“He wasn’t really my type but the coke he had was unreal,” Morgan explained to friends this morning while washing the taste of cock out of her mouth with Listerine. “I’d still be banging him now only his bag ran out, shortly after that I ran out too,” she joked.
“He was kind of weird looking, a bit like Steve Buscemi only both of his eyes pointed in the same direction,” she continued. “I’ll definitely see him again if he has more of that lovely coke. He was pretty old too so that means he probably has a good job and he’ll be able to buy me drinks, smokes and chips.”
Paul McNabb, the unlucky recipient of Ms. Morgan’s attention, claimed to have known exactly what the young woman’s intentions were, “It was totally obvious she was only after a bit of my coke,” he explained. “I’ve been going to parties for years and eventually you get to learn how a party slut operates.”
“This coke I have is straight from Peru via the intestines and arse of a drug mule,” continued Mr. McNabb. “It’s proper nice stuff and everyone knows party sluts love nice coke. I’ve actually got loads of it but I told that little toe rag I only had one bag.”
“I would have opened another bag after I boned her but the smell of her fanny was making me feel sick and I had to get up for work this morning,” continued Mr. McNabb, “so I told her I was all out and gave her some taxi fare and a fake phone number to get rid of her.”
“She seemed happy enough with that arrangement though,” he added.
Haha. Facebook blocked this article. Doh! đ
Funny thing is, I actually know a coke dealer who looks alarmingly similar to Steve Buscemi.