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December 17, 2014
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Martin Garrix To Play Baby Jesus In EDM Nativity

EDM’s golden boy Martin Garrix is set to play Christianity’s golden boy, the baby Jesus, in this year’s Annual EDM DJ’s Christmas Nativity Play.

The Annual EDM DJ’s Nativity Play, in which commercial DJs get cash thrown at them to perform the famous scene over an abrasive EDM pop soundtrack, was started in 2009 and has gone from strength to strength with this year’s sixth installment set to be the biggest production to date after moving to its new home in New York’s Carnegie Hall.

Cherub faced Garrix, who was overlooked for the role last year due to a severe case of acne, is believed to be delighted with the role after telling friends it was “about time people thought of [him] on par with Jesus” and has received advice on lying in a filthy manger in his own piss by DJing drug user Craig Charles.

Wunderground caught up with director Michael Chambers earlier this week, “This year’s show is going to totally blow all our previous shows out of the water. We’ve got a really strong cast and everyone’s pulling together and working really hard to make sure we’re ready to go for the one off performance on the 23rd of December.”

“We’ve got Martin playing the baby Jesus, DJ Sneak in an oversize diaper didn’t go down too well last year so we thought we’d go with youth this year,” explained Chambers.

“He’ll be supported by Tiësto and Paris Hilton as Mary and Joseph. Tiësto’s been our Joseph since the first year and there really isn’t anyone else who could play the part,” continued the director. “Paris is a new addition, as anyone who reads DJ Mag will know there are no female EDM DJs so we’re in a privileged position this year to actually have Mary played by a woman, it also means David Guetta won’t have to stand in and play the part of a pregnant sixteen year old virgin girl, despite how convincing he’s been in previous years.”

“We’ve got Ingrosso, Axwell and Angello teaming up to play the three wise men, there’s something about those three guys together that is really appealing to kids,” he claimed. “And as always we’ve got Steve Aoki and Calvin Harris playing the donkeys. There really aren’t two bigger asses in the whole of the EDM industry.”

“We’ve still managed to find a place for David Guetta, he’ll be narrating and doing the sound effects all of which will be completely pre-recorded.”

Tickets for this year’s Annual EDM DJs Nativity Play will be released this weekend and will be offered with bottle service for a meager $100,000 each.

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