A local DJ has been left shocked after discovering that none of his 1200 Facebook fans cared about what he had for his dinner.
Paul Starr, aka DJ Starrbook a pseudonym cleverly devised using his name and love for the Harry Potter novels, came to the shocking realisation after a picture of a rather pleasant looking steak dinner he posted to his Facebook page on Thursday evening got no likes or comments.
Since discovering the shocking truth DJ Starrbook has fallen into a depressing downward spiral of crying, eating cream filled doughnuts and wanking.
Wunderground managed to persuade Starrbook to take a short break from his hectic schedule to tell his side of the heart wrenching story, “I’ve never felt more worthless, being a DJ I have an over inflated ego and opinion of myself and this has really caused me to question my entire being and everything I think I know about the universe.”
“It wasn’t like I went to a fancy restaurant and took a picture of a steak that was cooked in an industrial kitchen by a paid expert,” continued an emotional Mr. Starr while wiping a mixture of powdered sugar and tears from his face with a jizz encrusted hand. “I poured my heart and soul into cooking that steak, sautéed those potatoes and made that pepper sauce from scratch, but people just don’t seem to give a shit.”
“Generally speaking my Facebook posts get quite a good response, I like to think of myself as a big deal in the cyber world,” he claimed while eyeing up a solitary plump custard cream doughnut lingering on an unused CDJ. “But knowing that people don’t care about what I eat is devastating, I guess this is what it feels like to be a normal person who doesn’t get paid to play tunes in a half empty club to people who don’t give a shit whether you’re alive or not, it’s not nice.”
“I don’t know where I’m going to go from here,” sobbed DJ Starrbook. “Usually when I need to cheer myself up I go and laugh at some homeless people or convince a girl with low self esteem to have sex with me, but I’m not even sure if those tried and tested techniques will work,” he spluttered while losing all composure. “It was fucking fillet steak man! Fillet!”
Since speaking to Wunderground DJ Starrbook’s condition is believed to have worsened after a group of friends spotted the semi-clothed DJ running from a video rental shop clutching a plastic bag full of chocolate eclairs and a life sized cardboard cut out of Emma Watson.
