A secondary school in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, has announced controversial plans to introduce experimenting with drugs to their science curriculum.
The Cruyff Gymnasium, in the city’s Zeeburg District, has presented a fifty two page dossier to the Ministry of Education, Culture and Science outlining the positive effects teaching final year students about experimenting with drugs will have on the individual students, the school and the surrounding area.
“We surveyed all of our final year students and it turns out that about eighty percent of them have already experimented with some form of drugs,” explained school secretary Maria Heijman. “And we’re pretty sure the other twenty percent are liars.”
“By letting the students experiment with drugs in science classes we can be certain they’re doing it in a safe environment and also make sure they’re taking good shit and not bath salts they’ve bought off a crack head in the Red Light District,” Continued Ms. Heijman. “We’ll leave that for the tourists.”
According to the dossier the drugs experimented with will be marijuana, LSD and MDMA.
“We’ve obviously chosen those drugs because they’re the least addictive, readily available and the most fun,” explained Maria. “We’ll monitor the dosage taken by each student and hopefully remove the desire to try these drugs on the street, reducing anti social behaviour and crime in the surrounding housing estates.”
“There are also a number of educational values to add to the obvious social benefits of the experiment,” she continued. “Students will have first hand experience of chemical reactions happening in their brains and, in some cases, while on LSD they’ll even see things on a molecular level. We could be looking at a whole new take on the educational experience here.”
The Dutch Government were unavailable for comment when contacted by Wunderground, although sources have suggested that the cabinet have organised an “ounce party” in Prime Minister Mark Rutte’s house where the plans will be discussed while “toking some reefer”.
