50 Cent Relaunching Himself As EDM Artist Called “Half A Pill”

Rapper 50 Cent has announced that he is to relaunch himself as an EDM artist under the name “Half A Pill” later this year.

50, real name Curtis Jackson, made the announcement to a group of friends “in da club” late yesterday evening.

“We were sitting in the club drinking champagne, comparing guns, throwing wads of cash on the table and smoking weed,” explained 50’s friend and fellow G-Unit member Lloyd Banks. “Basically just doing what rappers do, when Curtis told us he wanted to be an EDM artist.”

“At first I thought he was tripping but he was serious he even has a name picked out, he wants to be called Half A Pill now,” continued Mr. Banks. “I can see what he’s thinking with the 50 Cent – half a dollar – Half A Pill idea but I can’t help but think it’s a really stupid name but I guess that means it should fit in well with all the other really stupid names in EDM.”

“Names have never been Curtis’s strong point, he originally wanted to call G-Unit C-Unit because his name begins with a C and he was from C block in the projects,” revealed the New Yorker, “but it looked too much like the word cunt so we had to convince him to change it.”

“Personally I think EDM is a waste of time and an insult to my Chicago and Detroit brothers who paved the way for those white middle class EDM chumps to get rich,” spat Banks aggressively. “But if 50 wants to be an EDM star then that’s OK with me.”

“He already takes Molly and uses Ableton so he’s more than halfway there without even trying,” confirmed the rapper, “and he’s stupidly rich, which seemed to work out well for Steve Aoki and Paris Hilton so I imagine he’ll be playing in Las Vegas pretty soon.”

Half A Pill’s debut EDM album, How the Other Half Lives, is expected to be released early next year.