A damning report published today by the World Nightclub Alliance from their mountain fastness outside Geneva has claimed that the number of people shouting “yeeeeeeooorrrw” in nightclubs is down a massive 67% since the turn of the decade.
Representatives from the Nightclub Alliance sporting neck tattoos depicting headphones and wearing solid gold entry wristbands claimed that “yeeeeeeoooooorrrw” is usually ululated out of the mouth of an excited reveler at the moment of “a fat drop or tight mix”, and that yeeeeeoooorrrw was long the favoured expression of approval amongst ravers who couldn’t whistle.
“I remember pre-smart phones every body would be getting a few yeeoooorrrws out of them, the sheer excitement of seeing your favourite DJ melt a dance floor was enough to create that feeling,” claimed one clubber who is wistful about dance music’s past due to him being over 30. “Now you’d probably get one or two lads shouting it on a night. Mostly they’re unaware of its history and only do it involuntarily, unbeknownst to themselves, a sort of pleasurable Tourettes brought on by MDMA and techno.”
“Now people are more likely to write yeeeeeeooorrrw in the caption under a photo on their Instagram and send it to their mates,” he added. “Even though there wasn’t a peep out of them all night, didn’t work up a sweat and only go clubbing as an excuse to show of the work they’ve been doing in the gym and to finger or get fingered.”
DJs have weighed in on the phenomenon and claim they too miss hearing the expressions of approval from excited clubbers in the form of long drawn out yeooooorrrrws.
“You used to be able to tell how a set was going bsaed on the amount of yeeeeoooorrrrws that you’d hear,” claimed local DJ Harry Black. “Another indicator that yeooooorrrrrrws were great for was how long and drawn out it was. A quick yeoow was common at the start of the night but towards the finishing track you could fully expect people to be red-faced and gasping for breath as they just shouted ‘yeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrwwwwww’, for ages and ages.”
“You knew then that you played a good set,” he added. “Now you’ve got to google your name to find favourable Facebook status updates.”
