Cocoon In The Park have announced that they are to use the bold new format of having one good sound system and one good DJ play at a time at this year’s festival, held in Temple Newsam Park, Leeds, on 11th July.
The announcement has been met with much skepticism within the music industry, with many insiders claiming “it’ll never work” and “it’s totally bat shit mental”.
However, Cocoon boss Sven Väth has jumped to the festival’s defense claiming that their superior line up and sound system leaves other similar festivals in their wake.
“I don’t know why people are saying this will never work,” claimed Väth during a recent catch up with Wunderground. “Look at who we’ve got playing; Seb Vito, Enzo Siragusa, Ricardo Villalobos, Carl Cox, Dixon and, of course, the greatest DJ ever to live, me.”
“It’s like we’ve taken all the headlining DJs from a lot of different festival and put them all onto the same stage,” explained Väth. “So we’ve removed the need to traipse across muddy fields from stage to stage watching boring daytime DJs play sets that could be used to put children to sleep, leaving our patrons with much more time to enjoy themselves.”
“Everyone knows techno is the only true form of electronic music,” he continued nonchalantly. “So we’ve eliminated all the deep and tech house leaving nothing but the bangingest techno to be drilled into your head by the bangingest sound system you’re ever likely to come across, if anything this festival is probably a little too good and it might actually spoil all other festival experiences for people.”
Ricardo Villalobos has also expressed his excitement to be returning to Leeds for the latest installment of Cocoon In The Park.
“I’m really buzzing for this festival, I’ve been up all year with the excitement,” revealed Ricardo. “People think I don’t sleep because I’m some sort of techno machine or space mutant but the truth is I just get so excited about these gigs that I work myself into a state of hyperawakeness, honestly I don’t think I’ve slept a wink since Cocoon In The Park started back in 2009.”
Organisers are advising all ticket holders for Cocoon In The Park to ensure they go to Temple Newsam Park, as last year a number of complaints were made after a large group of clubbers made their way to the nearby Temple Newsam Golf Club, where they found an actual cocoon.
“It were dead boring,” claimed one lost Cocoon fan. “Nothing much happened the whole time we were there, except at the very end when a little butterfly came out but he didn’t even play any techno, he just flew away.”
