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June 5, 2015
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“You Still Up” Declared World’s Most Used Chat Up Line

Texting someone and asking them are they “still up” is actually the most widely used chat up line in the world, it has been revealed.

The chat up line is reportedly most often used by people who are out partying, run out of booze and/or drugs, and begin to feel a bit horny/lonely, claimed the report.

On average the same text is sent roughly six hundred thousand times on every night of the weekend by young people across the English speaking world.

Praised for its concise word usage and it’s unambiguous connotations “you still up” is used more often than similar phrases like “what you up to” or “any craic”.

“It’s the time that it’s sent which is more important,” claimed the report, “if it was during the afternoon or early evening it would seem out of place and weird, but sent in the early hours of the morning it takes on a whole other romantic frisson.”

“If you receive a ‘you still up’ from a member of the opposite sex then you can be pretty much assured that he or she wants to to squat on your dick or have your dick put inside her, respectively.”

“There’s actually no need to say anything more than that, the meaning is still there, and if the person you’ve texted spurns your advances, perhaps by texting you the next day saying they were passed out, then you can simply lie and say you were looking for narcs to save face.”

“Even though secretly you both know what was going on by saying you still up, being as it is, an invite or offer for sex,” concluded the report.

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