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June 11, 2015
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Nightclub Tackles Drug Problem By Hiring Audience’s Mothers As Bouncers

A London nightclub has come up with a novel way of tackling the problem of drugs being consumed on their premises by hiring the mother’s of their regulars as bouncers.

The manager of the nightclub, Bryan Thomas, claims that he came up on the idea after spending some time with his own mother last weekend.

“I go home to visit my parents every few months,” explained 38-year-old Bryan. “And although I’m 38 and married I still hide the fact that I’ve ever taken drugs from my parents.”

“I knew I’d be mortified if she ever found out so I’ve hidden it from her,” he added. “Even though I’ve been taking drugs for the last twenty years, my mother had never caught me in the act, until she caught me having a spliff with an old school friend when I went home.”

Bryan says his mother just looked at him sternly, said she was disappointed and then ignored him for the rest of the day – a series of events which he describes as the “worst punishment I’ve ever received”.

“I was given a frosty reception at dinner, which my mother said I was lucky to have as she was well within her rights to send me to bed with no supper,” he added. “I knew there and then that the fear of a mother’s wrath would be enough to make most people hide their drug taking.”

Bryan says that armed with this knowledge he has now filled up his security staff with the mothers of some of the local crowd of regulars – who, until their Mums started working as bouncers, had to problem with openly taking and selling drugs in the club.

“It’s completely stopped, their all too scared of their Mums to even smoke in the club,” he concluded. “It’s the most drug free club in the city thanks to the power of disapproving Mums.”

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