A London music Nazi has been rightly ejected from a funeral after abruptly changing the mournful music selected by the bereaved family and friends of the deceased.
The music, which was some of deceased man, Michael Smith’s, favourite music was unceremoniously knocked off halfway through after affirmed music Nazi, Jordan Curtis, reportedly became “bored with it and wanted to liven up the party with something banging”.
“All that music had been tastefully curated by the family as a way to commemorate Michael’s life and to cope with the tragic circumstances of the day itself,” claimed parish priest and sometime trance DJ, Eric Abbot. “It’s hard to imagine anyone who would think of their own enjoyment over that sentiment but Jordan is obviously a music Nazi with no regard for the living or the dead.”
The funeral playlist, which contained five tracks that Michael had enjoyed in life and were selected by the family included, The Bee Gees Staying Alive, Queen Another One Bites The Dust, Underworld Push Upstairs, AC/DC Highway To Hell and Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani.
“Jordan walked up to the little pulpit at the side of the stage, right in the middle of Another One Bites The Dust and started flicking through the iPod like it was the most normal thing in the world,” described the priest. “Michael’s brother attempted to accost him but Jordan just told him to relax, he wasn’t knocking it off, he was just looking through to see what was on it.”
“But then he just knocked them off anyway and played some Nervo track that had nothing to do with commemorating death even though it was massively bleak in musical terms,” he concluded. “Had he of played something decent we mightn’t have kicked him out.”
Witnesses claim that as he was being kicked out Jordan suggested “doing two track pass” to alleviate the tension but by that time everyone was too busy loudly groaning at having to listen to Nervo at a funeral.
