A man who fell asleep during a particularly boring DJ set in his local nightclub spent the time blissfully dreaming of tunes that didn’t bore him to sleep.
Barry Muir, from Aberdeen, Scotland, took a short nap during a set by a resident DJ at a club night called “strictly something or other” last Saturday night.
“The tunes were total pish,” claimed Barry, a twenty six year old techno fan. “It was all of that proper fanny deep house and tech house nonsense. I stayed awake for about a half an hour but that was enough so I just got myself onto the couches and stretched out.”
“I know everyone who listens to this music says you need a wee bit of ketamine to really appreciate it,” continued Mr. Muir, “but I wasn’t taking any chances with ‘a wee bit’ so I shoveled about three quarters of a gram straight up my nose to make sure I knocked myself out, it worked a charm too, I was out cold within a couple of minutes.”
“I’m not sure if I was actually asleep or not but I think I was,” revealed Muir unconvincingly. “As soon as I drifted off I was hearing the most banging techno that I’ve ever hear, I’m not even sure if techno like that even exists, imagine if Sven Väth, Darth Vader and Toni De Vit all had a baby with Nina Kraviz and then that baby started to make techno, that’s the stuff I was hearing.”
“It was brilliant, probably the best hour of clubbing I’ve had in the last five years,” claimed Mr. Muir, who claims to have once seen The Beatles live during an acid flashback. “It was just a pity the big stocking-of-shite security guard had to come and wake me up, the set was just about to really get going.”
According to unconfirmed reports, Mr. Muir later had the night of his life with the girl of his dreams after he took two valiums and retired to his bed.
