Confused Teenager Tries To Wash Face With Soapbar Hash
A confused Irish teenager has injured his face after trying to wash himself with an ounce of soapbar hash.
Jordan O’Neill, a seventeen year old leaving cert student, was left with cuts and scratches to his face after asking his older brother, Michael O’Neill (27), if he had any soap.
“I was just looking for a bit of soap to wash my face and hands before I went down to hang around outside the shops,” explained A swollen faced Jordan. “There was none in the jacks so I asked my brother Mick if he had any, he said ‘only the lump of it in my rolling box you thick’ so I went and got what I thought was soap.”
“I was kind of surprised that it was brown and it smelled like shit,” continued the teenager, “but my brother is a bit of a loser, he’s twenty seven, lives in his ma’s attic and sits around getting stoned all day so I wouldn’t be surprised if he did use shitty brown soap to wash himself.”
“I brought it to the sink, stuck it under the hot tap and tried to wash my face with it,” claimed Jordan, who prefers drinking to smoking. “I was expecting the warm water to soften it up a bit but it was hard and the edges of it were sharp, it’s after cutting my face to bits, even worse than the first time I tried to shave.”
Michael, known locally as Smokey Joe, was less than impressed with his little brother’s naivety, we caught up with him earlier, “That Jordan is a little fool. What kind of youngfella doesn’t know a block of hash when he sees one? You can tell we don’t have the same da.”
“My ounce is fucking ruined,” fumed the angry older brother. “It’s all bleeding soggy and about a quarter off it washed away down the sink. That little prick owes me a hundred euros.”