An unlucky man in Perth, Australia, has wrecked himself after leaving his house without first checking himself.
Martin Crosby, a 23-year-old hip hop fan, received multiple injuries, including two broken legs and arms, after slipping on a wet surface just yards from his house.
“I can’t believe I forgot to check myself, I mean I’m a hip hop fan, I pretend to like Jurassic 5 and even mumble along. What kind of hip hop fan forgets to check themselves before they wreck themselves?” asked Martin from a hospital bed earlier. “I feel like such an amateur. I’m the opposite of an old G. A young G.”
“Usually I’ll run through a check list before I leave the house,” continued the black and blue Aussie. “I’ll make sure I have my phone, wallet and keys, check that my shoelaces are tied and double check that my cock isn’t hanging out of my fly. It’s a simple list but it’s worked well so far.”
“I was running late so checking myself never even crossed my mind,” claimed the young man. “I always just thought that ‘you better check yourself before you wreck yourself’ was just something rappers said, I never actually believed that I would actually wreck myself if I forgot to do the checks.”
“As I was running for the bus I slipped on some water and now I‘m completely wrecked,” admitted Martin. “The doctor says I’ll be bedbound for at least eight weeks and it’s because I didn’t do exactly what hip hop told me.”
“From now on I’m living my life exactly as hip hop says and I‘m going to start with that bit where Nate Dog says ‘smoke weed everyday.’”
