The entire music industry is numb today after news that one of its leading lights, David Bowie, has sadly passed away over night.
News of the legend’s untimely death has lead to the gods being inundated with pleas from the music community, asking them to rethink their decision and take House Every Weekend producer David Zowie instead.
“It’s just not fair, surely this must be some kind of mix up,” claimed one industry insider who seemed to be in denial. “We’ve lost Bowie, one of the most groundbreaking performers of all time yet we’re stuck with some gobby chav, Zowie, who’s managed to make a career out of piggybacking his name and buying one online sample kit. Where’s the fairness in that?”
“If there’s any justice in the world the rock gods will realise that they’ve made a mistake and rectify the situation,” continued the anonymous source. “Some Russian lad came back to life after a vodka binge last week so it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve changed their minds and if there’s ever been a legitimate reason for sending someone back, this is it.”
“I’ve got nothing against David Zowie, I’m sure he’s a really nice bloke, it’s just that Bowie is a hero, I’m not sure if I can function knowing that he’s gone,” claimed the industry insider. “To be honest, I don’t really care what happens to Zowie, I’d be happy enough if he just got a career ending injury, all that I really want is Bowie back.”
According to experts, confused shufflers all over the world are believed to be exploring alternative avenues to find a reliable source of house music that will be readily available every weekend.
