Sci-Fi fans around the world were left in a state of shock as cult TV series the X-Files came to an end revealing lead character Fox Mulder was in a thirteen year K-hole and the complete history of the show was solely based on his wild, ketamine fueled imagination.
Having first launched in 1993, the X-Files went on to build an enormous following, with lead characters Fox Mulder and Dana Scully becoming wanking material for nerds and boffins on every continent.
“Re-uniting Mulder and Scully for a conclusive series was the greatest thing to happen in my life,” said Eugene Wong, a forty two year old conspiracy theorist who Skyped us directly from his mum’s basement in Ohio, America. “We all know the X-Files is based on real life documentation which the US government keeps on lock down. We are all part of a huge cover up and Mulder has always been so close to unveiling the truth. He is a hero.”
On learning the X-Files was never about paranormal activity and was completely based on the mind frame of a drug addict, internet forums went into meltdown with fans furious at show producer Chris Carter for “ruining their lives”.
Wunderground managed to speak to Chris following the airing of the final episode, “I took my inspiration from an encounter I had at a rave once upon a time,” said Chris. “I done a big bump of ket, sat there for six hours contemplating the Bermuda Triangle. Over the past thirteen years our viewers have seen what it is like to be in the mind of a person on ket, without realising what they were witnessing. The X-Files has demonstrated the sophistication of the human brain and what happens when we expand our minds. It perfectly summarises the type of shit which goes through your brain when you are on it.
“Next time you are at a rave and see a person fucked out of their nut on ket, looking completely vacant, not dancing, drooling, unable to move, on the verge of death – rather than get annoyed and call them a messy idiot, take a moment to appreciate the type of thoughts they are having. Like Fox Mulder, they could be unveiling a government plot to cover up paranormal activity.”
