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April 8, 2016
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Study: Girlfriend Will Commit Murder If You Mention DJ Equipment Again

woman hates djs

Your girlfriend is going to bash your head in if you mention the words “Pioneer”, “Controller” or “Traktor” again, she has confirmed to Wunderground this evening.

In our exclusive interview with the love of your life, she claimed “all he ever does is talk about DJing. Or if its not DJing, its something else related to the dance music scene. Some website or some DJ he is bringing over.”

“I’m going to go through him for a shortcut.”

“Take yesterday for instance, I was sitting on the sofa after work trying to get a cup of tea and a biscuit into me and catch up on ‘A Place In The Sun.’”

“Then the big dopey prick starts banging on about Andrea Fucking Oliva. I mean, fucking who? Yeah I know he’s a DJ, but do I give a fuck?”

“I’ve been run off my feet all day, my period is late, and I’m trying to watch two lezzo grannies buy a small heavily-tiled flat in Santa Ponsa without having to hear about Andrea Fucking Oliva, is that too much to ask?”

“I’ll shove that fucking mixer up his arse.”

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