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July 9, 2016
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Promoter Claiming Party With 10 People At It Was “Off The Hook”

A local promoter who recently threw a party which ten people attended has been heard claiming that the night was “off the hook”.

Alan Bishop, a part time promoter and full time dick head, has been running Gurnsey’s only grime night since 2014 and, despite never having more than thirty people at a party, claims his night, Grime Spree, is a huge success.

“Grime spree has been totally smashing it ever since we kicked off in 2014,” explained Bishop earlier. “We were named in the top ten club nights to go to in Gurnsey last year and even though there’s only nine different club nights on the island, I still think that’s a great achievement.”

“Last Friday was one of our best ever parties,” claimed Bishop, who runs his night in the back room of his local pub. “We had our very first international guest. His name was Ahmed, he lives down the road from me but he moved to Gurnsey as a refugee from Afghanistan back in 2016. I bet Fabric or Ministry of Sound have never brought a DJ in from Afghanistan. We’re killing it here at the moment.”

“There was only ten people there, including myself, the cloakroom attendant, the barman and Ahmed but who’s counting?” continued Bishop. “Promotion’s not about numbers and making money, it’s about having fun and being able to say things liked ‘off the hook’, ‘smashing it’ and ‘killing it’ in your Facebook statuses and I’m absolutely nailing that.”

We asked Mr Bishop what he thought the future had in store, “I love Gurnsey yeah, but it’s too small for me here. The world needs to experience my parties so I’ll move on to bigger and better things eventually. I quite like living on an island so I was thinking Ibiza. I’d imagine it’s quite easy to get a club night started over there.”

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