An Englishman has today admitted that he only bought a ticket for an upcoming festival as an excuse to dress like an absolute twat for the weekend.
Martin Davies, a thirty two year old bricklayer, admitted that “music wasn’t really [his] thing” but dressing like a complete “cunt knuckle” in public really appealed to him.
“I haven’t been to a festival yet this year so I’m really looking forward to this one,” revealed Mr Davies earlier. “The ticket was only £200, which, if you ask me, was an absolute bargain. I mean I’m not really into any of the bands or DJs that are playing but I get to walk around in stupid looking clothes, that I’d never normally have the balls to wear, for seventy two hours.”
“Festivals are pretty much the only chance I get to truly express myself these days,” continued Davies. “I’ve tried wearing the baggy pants I bought in Thailand, my one hundred percent hemp tie-dyed t-shirt and Native American headdress to work a couple of times before but it doesn’t really work out too good when you’re working on building sites.”
“I’ve got about six or seven costume changes already organised for the weekend so I think I’ve about fifty percent of the clothes I’ll bring sorted,” explained the brickey. “They’re all really on point too, I’m gonna be hippy chic, double denimed, Frankenstein’s bride and the entire Village People all in the same day, I’ll probably be the coolest looking dweeb at the festival.”
According to experts, one in ten people who attend music festivals only do so to dress in a manner that they wouldn’t do in normal life, a phenomenon which has become known as “Freddy Murcury – I Want To Break Free Syndrome”.
