America’s answer to Boris Johnson, on crack, Donald Trump has vowed to breath new life into London’s Studio 338 nightclub.
The Greenwich club was tragically destroyed by fire on 8 August and Trump, best known for his love of making things great again and wearing the world’s most confusing toupee, has agreed to donate a “significant sum of money” to the recently launched Kickstarter campaign, that sees Studio 338 attempt to raise £100K to help reopen their terrace as soon as possible.
“There are two things that I really love about London,” claimed Trump during a recent catch up with Wunderground. “Studio 338 and the relatively small Mexican population. So naturally I was completely sickened to hear about the fire that recently destroyed the Studio. If I was a gambling man, and I am, I’d bet your entire life savings that it was a goddamn Mexican who lit that fire.”
“Anyway, enough about the past, it’s time to look to the future and start thinking about what a beautiful, Mexican free, place Studio 338 can become if we make it great again,” continued the Republican Party Presidential Candidate. “I knew I wanted to get involved with the project when I heard about the proposed Family Wall to be built around the terrace. Naturally I love walls, they’re great for oppressing people, which I love, and they’re beautiful to look at.”
“Take the Great wall of China for example, now that’s a great wall, if the Chinese can do it than so can we,” confirmed Trump. “I’ve agreed to fund the building of the wall, as long as I’m allowed to have the responsibility of building it. I’ll probably draft a couple of Mexicans in to help with the build, I don’t like them but they’re cheap so it makes sense. Once we get the wall built they won’t be able to get in anyway, they’ll probably end up going to Shoreditch and opening a deconstructed burrito bar.”
This post is published by Wunderground in association with and in support of Studio 338 and their rebuild efforts. Studio 338 is an amazing club, and we at Wunderground would like to see it open for business as soon as possible, especially during this somewhat turbulent time for London clubs. If Studio 338 meant something to you, then please support them to get the doors back open as quickly as possible, they are offering really great family rewards and many happy memories in return.
