A man taking magic mushrooms claims to have developed the world’s greatest tinfoil hat.
Peter Rocastle, currently “tripping balls”, claims that the hat he has developed not only stops aliens from stealing his thoughts but also prevents the CIA from planting thoughts in his brain.
“Well as you can see the hat is highly practical and rather pleasing on the eye,” explained Mr Rocastle during a brief moment of clarity. “I was working on it for a good twenty minutes earlier and I’m finally happy with its design and purpose. I can safely say that I am one hundred percent safe from alien abduction as long as I keep this on my head.”
“There’s been a lot of alien activity around here the last couple of hours,” continued Rocastle before going into a fit of hysteric giggles for approximately twenty five minutes. “That’s why I had to build this hat, they’ve been trying to steal my thoughts, because I’ve been developing thermonuclear turbo advanced cleaning products in my head, but now thanks to the hat, I’m completely safe from their scanners.”
“That’s just one of it’s functions,” confirmed Rocastle. “It also stops the CIA from beaming racism into my head. That’s what they’ve been doing in America for years now, why else do you think so many black people get shot over there? It’s not going to happen me though, I’m well protected from that kind now.”
“I’ve also fitted it with a chemtrail filter and the super light weight tin foil material means that it won’t strain your neck at all. It’s definitely the most technologically advanced tin foil hat that’s ever been made.”
