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September 11, 2016
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Girl Left Starving As Boyfriend Who Said They’d Get “Pub Grub” Actually Meant Cheap Coke

A twenty two year old girl has been left starving on a Sunday afternoon following a misunderstanding with her boyfriend who had mentioned getting some pub-grub.

Megan Humphrey, from Gravesend, England, is said to have felt that “waste of space” boyfriend, Jack, had purposely tricked her – having assumed pub-grub meant a roast lamb dinner with all the trimmings; when in fact he was referring to buying some very cheap cocaine from a very questionable drug dealer.

“He knows how hungry I get,” moaned Megan. “When he said we would go down our local pub, The Three Daws, for a decent bit of pub-grub, my mouth literally watered at the thought. Before I knew it, that fucking idiot drug dealer, Scott Jessop, had turned up with some cheap thirty quid gram of gear that burns your insides when you do it. The pair of them sat there with their jaws going all over the shop, shouting shit at the tele as if they know anything about football. Wankers, the pair of them.”

Wunderground spoke with Jack to find out if he had pulled this stunt on purpose or if it was a genuine mix up, “She knows the score,” laughed Jack. “We were going out for a few beers and a bit of pub-grub while Super Sunday was on. If she got her wires crossed, that ain’t my problem is it?

“It’s all fine though,” continued Jack. “We had a couple more drinks, ordered another cheeky one, then ended up in Nandos. Well, me and Scott did anyway. Fuck knows what happened to Megan, she fucked off at about nine-ish with the raving hump.”

Nathon Woodhead

Nathon Woodhead

Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.

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