An English hipster has reportedly thrown a tantrum in his local pub after receiving a gin and tonic without any cucumber or black pepper.
Barry Hargreaves, who goes by the name Baz “Coco Pops” Greavsey on Facebook, is believed to have had a conniption after getting handed a “drastically plain” gin and tonic in his local pub.
“What a big bloody puff,” claimed landlord Nigel Cummins. “I remember him when he was a kid, he used to come in here with his dad the odd Sunday to watch the football, he seemed like such a normal young lad, I wonder how he ever managed to grow up to be such a little cunt.”
“He came in and I was just about to say hello when he threw a five pound note on the counter and said ‘G n’ T’ without even making eye contact with me,” explained Cummins, whose claim to fame is catching George Michael wanking in his pub toilets in 1998. “I should have kicked him out straight away, on account of his dismissive attitude, poxy curled moustache and pubey cunt beard.”
“But, because I know he’s a local, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt,” revealed the barman. “I handed him exactly what he asked for but the ungrateful little prick took one look at it, flung it across the bar and started screaming. Then he threw himself onto the ground and starting crying like a baby. I just ignored him but after twenty minutes he made himself sick so I told two of the locals that I’d give them half a bitter each if they dragged him outside.”
Wunderground also spoke to Mr Hargreaves, “What sort of basic kip serves plain gin and tonic?” he asked. “That bar man needs to get himself down to Shoreditch to get a bit of inspiration. I’ll never drink in that working class kip again, even if my dad, mum, brothers, sisters, aunties, uncles and cousins all drink in there.”
