Following his epic DJ Mag rant last month, Dutch DJ Hardwell has been spotted shouting at the clouds in a popular Amsterdam park.
According to witnesses, a small “hobbit like man” started shouting a string of obscenities at the clouds, forcing them to “cover their children’s ears” or even leave the park.
“It was terrible, the little angry munchkin was shouting all sorts of horrible stuff at the clouds,” explained mother of three Anna Janssens. “He was getting really angry for no reason at all, it wasn’t even raining or anything but he was really letting the clouds have it, my children are still pretty young and they’ve never been exposed to language like that before so I had to leave the park, we went and sat in a coffee shop after that where the atmosphere was a lot more relaxed.”
Mike De Vries, who was within earshot of Hardwell during his rant, claimed that he was totally shocked by the DJ’s words.
“For such a small weasel like guy, he really has got a big mouth,” confirmed Mr De Vries. “It was all f-this and f-that, f-you and stick it up your f-ing a-hole, I don’t know who he is or what he does but, to be shouting at clouds like that, he must be a total jerk.”
Hardwell’s PR team have moved swiftly to cover up the DJ’s latest rant, claiming that he wasn’t actually shouting at the clouds but was, in fact, speaking to his mother on a bluetooth headset.
“It may have appeared that Hardwell was shouting at the clouds, because he was looking directly at them and shouting stuff that would also be relevant to clouds,” explained an overworked and underpaid PR lackey. “But that couldn’t be further from the truth. He was actually speaking to his mother on the phone.”
“He and his mother have a really unique relationship,” claimed the PR worker. “So when somebody heard him shouting ‘stick it up your fucking arse you fluffy white bastard’ what he was actually saying was ‘hi mom I love you’, we can see where the confusion is coming from but it’s all very innocent.”
Leading anger management specialists claim that Hardwell may be suffer from “little prick syndrome” and is likely to be involved in more foul mouthed outbursts unless he seeks the necessary help.
