The world’s leading purveyor of blank stares, David Guetta, has apparently been nominated for the Best Actor Oscar for his role in last year’s livestream from Tomorrowland.
According to Hollywood sources, judges for this year’s Academy Awards were “blown away” by Guetta’s performance in the livestream and completely believed that he was a DJ for the full duration of the stream.
Walter Kelsing, head of the Academy Awards judging panel, spoke to Wunderground, “In my opinion, it’s the best performance out of any male, not only last year but possibly of all time. He really was that good.”
“Anyone can act like a DJ,” continued Kelsing. “Just look at the DJ Mag Top 100 and you can see one hundred guys all acting like DJs and all at the very top of their game but Mr Guetta takes it a couple of steps further, in truth he takes it an entire marathon worth of steps further.”
“He’s not just acting like a DJ, he’s acting like a DJ that doesn’t give a shit,” explained the judge. “He’s acting like a DJ who treats his fans with complete disdain, who lost his passion for music years ago and who is bored to the point of purposely shitting his own pants on stage and he totally nails it, he’s fooled everyone.”
“The real David Guetta is a little old man from North London, he’s not even French, who likes acting, knitting and fishing so to pull off a stunt like this is probably the greatest piece of method acting of all time.”
Wunderground contacted David Guetta for his opinion on the nomination, he responded by spitting out his dummy, stamping his feet, flinging himself to the floor and screaming “I am a real DJ, I am, I am, I am”.
This level of commitment to a role is what makes Guetta stand out from all of the other nominated actors and makes him Wunderground’s number one pick for this year’s Oscars.
