Islington Council Threatens To Re-close Fabric After Empty Baggie Found On Street

baggie outside fabric funny

Islington Council have warned that they may be forced to re-close Fabric after a street sweeper found an empty baggie in the ten mile “exclusion zone” around the nightclub.

While it is not yet clear whether the baggie contained any illegal substances, the Council have taken a strict zero tolerance approach to any breaches of the guidelines put in place for the club late last year.

Council Member Wendy Tofferson spoke to Wunderground, “It has come to our attention that a member of street sweeping team found an empty baggie at approximately four fifteen p.m. on Monday 9 January. The baggie was found inside Fabric’s exclusion zone and, pending a technical examination, we may be forced to take action against the club.”

If the baggie is found to contain any traces of illicit substances the Council is likely to impose a number of sanctions on the club, with re-closing the worst possible scenario.

“Nobody wants to see the club closing again,” confirmed Tofferson. “But we also can not condone empty baggies appearing on the street in the vicinity of the club. We would suggest that Fabric employ their own team of street sweepers to work in the ten mile exclusion zone and ensure that nothing like this happens again.”

Wunderground also spoke to an Islington based drug addict about the street sweepers find, “It’s very surprising,” he confirmed. “Most of the stuff I buy is in wraps or home made baggies, it’s rare that you see an actual baggie around here, they’re a bit posh for this neck of the woods.”

“My guess is that it probably contained a spare button,” continued the drug addict. “Which is probably bad luck for the club, I’ve heard that spare buttons are on the list of banned items that was handed to them by the Council.”

While it is not yet clear what, if any, action will be taken against Fabric, it is clear that Islington Council are a “pack of hungry cunts”, meaning that the most likely line of punishment will be a fine, payable directly to Council members’ pockets.

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