In a Wunderground exclusive, Dutch hardman and professional DJ Hardwell has announced that he is to embrace his elvish ancestry and move to the forest for a more relaxed life.
Hardwell, a direct descendant of Legolas, Orlando Bloom’s character from the Lord of the Rings movies, believes that it’s time to accept who he really is and start a fresh life with his kin.
“My whole life I’ve been running from the fact that I’m an elf,” claimed an emotional Hardwell earlier today. “I’ve been living a lie and now it’s time to make a change and embrace who I really am. From this day forward I’ll be known as Hardwell the Elf. Let’s just reiterate that’s an elf, not a fairy or gnome, there’s no way I’m one of those pussies.”
“Up until now, I’ve tried so hard not to be an elf that I really didn’t care what I became, I concentrated so much on being hard and being a DJ, just to distract myself from my elven instincts, that I never even noticed that I’d turned into such a cheeseball,” continued the elf. “I just thought if people see me as a superstar DJ they’ll look at me and think ‘there’s a celebrity’ not ‘there’s an elf’, I got so caught up in running from what I really am that I became something I never wanted to be.”
“I always wanted to be a reputable DJ but I got so caught up in fame that I’ve let that opportunity pass me by,” he said while wiping tears from his tiny elf face. “Now look at me, what am I? I’m not a real DJ, I’m not a real Elf, I’m just a pathetic excuse for a confused mythical creature desperate to find his way in life. I just hope my kin can forgive me and help me to embrace who I really am.”
According to sources close to Hardwell, the elf will no longer be playing at any music events, apart from Electric Daisy Carnival, the world’s only Elf friendly music festival.
